BATUN WANKIN KAYA A GIDAN MIJI!
Sharadin Shine Ayi Sharing Domin Yan Uwa Su Amfana 🔔🔔🔔
Shekaranjiya ne ɓirɓishin ka-ce-na-ce akan yiwa mata wanki ya fara ɓullowa a tsakanin samari, ƴan mata da ma'aurata musamman ma anan social media, inda jiya ka-ce-na-ce ɗin yai tsamari da yawa har yakai ga tayar da jijiyoyin wuya, masu ka-ce-na-ce ɗin dai sun kasu bisa mabambantan ra'ayoyi kashi uku ne, sune kamar haka:-
1). Masu ganin wajibi ne Mace ta yiwa mijinta wankin kayansa a gidan aurenta.
2). Sai kuma waɗanda suke ganin ba wajibi bane amma zata iya yiwa mijinta wankin kayansa idan taga dama (Tana da zaɓin yi masa wanki ko kuma rashin yi masa wanki ɗin kenan)
3). Sai kuma waɗanda su kuma suke ganin atafau su bazasu taɓa iya yiwa Mazajensu wanki ba, hasali ma zalunci da rashin adalci ne miji ya saka matarsa wanki.
A dunƙule a jumlace zanyi magana akan waɗannan mutane guda uku ta hanyar kasafta su bisa wasu muhimman abubuwa dangane da wannar maƙalar kamar haka:-
1). Na farko!
MENENE MANUFAR YIN AURE DA ABINDA ZAMANTAKEWAR AURE YA ƘUNSA?
Tabbas rashin sanin manufar aure da abinda zamantakewar aure ya ƙunsa ne yasa nau'in mutanen da suke ganin atafau bazasu iya yiwa Mijinsu wanki ba suke zaƙewa kan hakan harma suke ganin hakan a matsayin rashin darajta mace, wasu suke ta'allaƙa hakan da zalunci, rashin adalci da kuma rashin cikakkiyar soyayya ga macen.
Allah ta'ala a taƙaice ya bamu cikakken bayani akan manufar aure da abinda zamantakewar aure ya ƙunsa a cikin Alƙur'ani mai girma kamar haka:-
وَمِنْ ءَايَٰتِهِۦٓ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَٰجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوٓاْ إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِى ذَٰلِكَ لَءَايَٰتٍۢ لِّقَوْمٍۢ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
Mahallusshahid anan shi ne:-
السكينة
والمودة
ورحمة
Maƙasudin aure a wancan ayar ita ce:-
Domin bayin Allah su samu cikakkiyar
natsuwa (Da kamalah)
Abubuwan da aure ya ƙunsa kuma su ne:-
Soyayya
Ƙauna da
Tausayin juna
A ƙarƙashin wannan, miji yana da kaso mafi tsoka na ɗawainiya wa iyalinsa a babin abinda ya ƙunshi abubuwan da suke cikin zamantakewar aure, kama daga kan samar da muhalli, tufatarwa, ciyarwa, kula da lafiya da kuma tarbiyyah, dukka waɗannan a matsayin wajibinsa ne, kuma yin hakan ga miji shi ne tausayarsa da taimakonsa ga Matarsa.
A babi na kyautatawa kuma, kyautatawa ne miji yai waɗannan hidimomin ga Matarsa idan yaga dama-:
✓• Saya mata sabulun wanka.
✓• Saya mata omon wanki.
✓• Biya mata kuɗin kitso.
✓• Biya mata kuɗin lalle.
✓• Saya mata mayukan shafawa.
Da sauran makamantan waɗannan abubuwa.
Dukkan waɗancan abubuwa ba wajibi bane miji yaiwa matarsa, kyautatawa ce kawai, idan yaga dama yace bazaiyi ba yaci yasha, bai saɓawa Shari'ah ba, kuma duk suna cikin abubuwan da suka ƙunshi zamantakewar aure, waɗanda idan babu su wallahi zamantakewar auren bazai taɓa yin daɗi ba.
To idan muka kalli waɗancan ɗawainiyoyi waɗanda suke farillai ne ga miji a zamantakewar aure, to waɗannene kuma farillan ɗawainiyoyi akan mata ga mijinta a zamantakewar aure?
Na farko, dole mace ta sani cewa farilla ne tayiwa Mijinta biyayya a duk abinda addini ya yadda dashi, addini kuma dai yana goyon bayan bin umarnin Miji a gidan aure tunda shi mijin yafi matarsa daraja kamar yadda Allah ta'ala ya faɗa a cikin Alƙur'ani mai girma.
وللرجال عليهن درجة
Kuma Mazaje sunfi su (Su mata) daraja.
Kenan anan zamu ɗauki aikatau a gidan Miji da matanmu na zamani suke ta cece-kuce akan cewa baza suyi ba, (musamman ma wanki) mu kalle shi ta waɗannan fusaku kamar haka:-
1). Idan miji ya baki umarni kiyi masa wanki, to dolenki ne kiyi masa biyayya kiyi wankin nan tunda yi masa biyayya yana daga cikin haƙƙin mijinki akanki, anan baki isa kice bazakiyi masa wankin ba faɗin haka kuwa tauye nasa haƙƙin yi masa biyayya ne kamar yadda ciyar dake, tufatar dake da kuma baki muhalli da kula da lafiyarki yake haƙƙinki a kansa.
Ki kula sister!
A wannan gaɓar, wallahi ko zaɓi baki dashi akan yin wankin ko rashin wankin, (Misali kice wai kina da zaɓi a cikin hakan), baki da zaɓi a wajen bin umarnin mijinki ko ta kusa ko ta nesa muddin Umarnin bai saɓawa Shari'ar Allah ba.
2). Idan kuma mijin ya baki zaɓi ne na cewa idan kinso kiyi masa wanki idan baki so ba kuma ki bari, to ki gane cewa anan kam kina da zaɓin yi ko bari, amma yin wankin shi yafi miki Alkhairi saboda ɗimbin ladan dake cikin hakan.
Hallau, idan kuma muka kalli maƙasudin yin aure ta sigar Ibadah, to wani gwaggwaɓan aiki ne na musamman da zaki riƙa yi domin ki burge Ubangiji har takai matsayin da Ubangijinki zai baki babban tukuici.
A jumlace kuma, yin duka waɗannan ɗawainiyoyi a gidan miji shi ne fa taimakekeniyar, kuma su suke tabbatar da cewa akwai waɗancan abubuwa guda ukun a cikin aurenku.
Soyayya
Ƙauna da
Tausayin juna
Domin yiwa miji wanki, zai ƙara ƙarfin soyayyarki a zuciyar mijinki, ke kuma dama saboda tausayinsa kika ɗauke masa ɗawainiyar yin wankin, a inda hakan kuma zai haifar muku da cikakkiyar ƙaunar juna sai kuma ku samu natsuwa.
2). ABU NA BIYU
KE KUMA SOKUWA MAI KALLON YIWA MIJI WANKI A MATSAYIN BAUTA NE, RASHIN ADALCI KO KUMA RASHIN SONKI NE MIJIN YAKE YI, TO GARE KI:-
A ƙarƙashin wannan, zamu kalli ire-iren waɗannan ƴan matan ta waɗannan fusaku kamar haka:-
1). Dukka waɗancan bayanan da suka gabatan, idan ke mai hankali, fahimta da bin tsarin addininki ne lallai sun isheki hujja, to bayan haka kuwa ki sani cewa:-
✓• Barbarar tinanin yahudawa da yake fitowa ta khuɗubar ƴan FEMINIST (Masu fashin ƙwacowa mata ƴancinsu) ne jin cewa bazanyi abu kaza a cikin gidan miji na ba (ko kuma zaɓi nane).
✓• Ƙauyanci da gidadanci ne typically tafiya akan wannan ra'ayin, jin cewa ƴanci ne wallahi ba ƴanci bane, rashin ƴanci, rashin sanin ciwon kai da rashin sanin matsayin miji da zamantakewar aure ne yake jawo hakan.
✓• Ƙauyanci ne tsantsa kiji cewa kina da opinion base examption na ƙashin kanki daga cikin aiyukan gidan miji harma ki mayar dasu optional, tabbas wannan ba koyarwar Musulunci bane, kuma ba wayewa bane.
✓• A matsayinki ta ƴa mace ki gane cewa burgewa da cinyewa ne kiyiwa Mijinki abinda zai faranta masa musamman ma irin aiyukannan na wanki da guga da abinda yai kama da haka idan har keɗin kin cika cikakkiyar mace kuma hamshaƙiya a cikin mata, wallahi hakan ba ƙaramar ƙara miki kima da daraja zai yi a idonsa ba.
✓• Idan kuma kina taƙama da cewa hakan ɗin sanin ƴancin kine, ai dai nake tsamman baki fi Nana A'isha (r.a) matar Annabi (saw) sanin daraja da ƴancin kai ba, amma haka ta rungumi yiwa Annabi (saw) aiki a gidansa a matsayinta ta matarsa, hadda wanki ma duk tana yi masa, kamar yadda nassin hadithi ingantacce ya tabbatar da haka:-
Ga nassin ruwayoyi biyu nan ku duba!
وعن عائشة رضي الله عنها قالت :( كان رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يغسل المني ، ثم يخرج إلى الصلاة في ذلك الثوب ، وأنا أنظر إلى أثر الغسل ). متفق عليه
. ولمسلم : ( لقد كنت أفركه من ثوب رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فركا فيصلي فيه ) ، وفي لفظ له : ( لقد كنت أحكه يابساً بظفري من ثوبه ).
✓• Duk matsayi, gata da zamowarki mace ƴar gata mai cikakkiyar nasaba, wallahi ko farcen Nana Faɗima ƴar Manzon Allah (saw) baki kamo ba, tunda Annabi da kansa ya tabbatar da cewa (Faɗima wata tsoka ce daga gareshi, duk wanda ya cutar da ita ya cutar dashi ne), amma nassin hadithi ya tabbatar da cewa har kanta hanunta yakeyi wajen yin bautar aikatau a gidan mijinta, kuma wallahi idan sanin ƴanci ne ta wuce saninki.
Wajen Annabi taje takai masa kuka akan ya bata ƴar aiki (baiwa) a gidanta wacce zata taya ta aiki, Annabi yana da girman matsayin da zai iya roƙon Allah a halicci sabon Mala'ika (Bama mutum ba) a turawa Nana Faɗimah (r.a) ya ɗauke mata duk wani aikin gidan, amma Annabi baiyi haka ba, bai kuma yiwa Mijinta magana akan yabar sakata aiyukan ba, bai kuma iyakance wasu aiyukan yace ga waɗanda zatayi (Sune wajibanta) ga waɗanda baza tayi ba (saboda su ba wajibanta bane ba).
A'a bal ma Annabi (saw) kawai sai ya bata wasu Addu'o'i yace taje ta hau yi kawai kuma taci gaba da aiyukan gidan mijinta.
✓• To hajiyar ƙalali, feleƙe da iya yi, ƴar gata masu daraja, masana ƴanci da haƙƙi ke baza kiyiwa miji wanki ba, kar kiyi don Allah (Idan kin fasa yi ke ba mace bace), ai ga masu abun nan su babu irin aikin da basa yi a gidajen aurensu, wacce a Aljannah ma ita ce woman leader!
VICE-VERSA
To shikenan, tunda kinja jan layi akan cewa bazakiyi wanki wa Mijinki ba saboda ba wajibi bane, to shikenan shima saya miki kayayyaki irinsu:-
✓• Mayukan Shafawa
✓• Sabulun wanka
✓• Omon da sabulun wanki.
✓• Biya miki kuɗin lalle
✓• Biya miki kuɗin kitso
da sauransu duk sai yabar yi miki su, tunda basa daga cikin wajibabbunsa na riƙe ki a matsayin matarsa.
Ai Ihsani ne, to shima sai ya maida su Optional kamar yadda kika mayar da yi masa wanki domin yaji daɗi Optional, ranar da ya bushi iska yayi miki, ranar da baiga dama ba kuma yai mirsisi ya noƙe yaƙi yi miki, idan ya kawo miki abinci da abun sha, ya ɗinka miki kayan sakawa (Nan ma ki dinga wankesu da kanki, domin babu inda akace sai ya miki wanki ko kuma ya biya kuɗi anyi miki), ya kuma kula da lafiyarki shikenan ya sauƙe wajibinsa tunda abun rashin mutunci ne.
DAGA ƘARSHE!
Wannan ƙazamin ra'ayinma kuma wai hadda wasu Ustazan Mata duk ruwa yaci su ya hada yai awon gaba dasu a ciki, sunyi dumu-dumu akan wannan banzan ra'ayin.
To Wallahi kuji tsoron Allah!